I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
