Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
