I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
