I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize