u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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