Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
