Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
