Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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