I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
