It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
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