You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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