so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize