Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
