he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize