let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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