my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
