tell your sister to shave her snatch
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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