yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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