are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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