The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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