If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
