I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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