Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My penis needs a shock collar
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
