i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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