mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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