Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
