Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He had one of those small greek statue penises
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
