After last night, I could never be a politician.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
