highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
