Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize