Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
