That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
