Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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