If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize