My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Yo dont text me then not text me
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
