Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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