He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
try to milk me bitch
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