If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
