hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
