UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
