i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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