id be glad to
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
well, you know. whores of a feather.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
