im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize