shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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