I think my vagina is haunted
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
