So drunk its hurt
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
