remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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