Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
