I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
