You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
there is glitter all over my balls
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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