Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I need water and some morals
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