So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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