Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
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And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
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Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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