And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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