You were right. It hurts to walk today.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
