hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
