Can i not drive my cunt home
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
