its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
