shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Panties = found
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
