Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
