i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
