I'm pants shitting drunk right now
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Text me some of your sweat
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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