you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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