lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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