If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
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