billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
