I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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