First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize