So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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