Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
